As Noah and The Whale put it, life does go on. But cancer is never really very far away.
After my recent reoccurrence, cancer seems to have taken on a whole new scary place in my life, as this shadow that is just waiting there to jump in and ruin my plans at the last minute. After the first bout and subsequent removal, I was naive enough to think that that was it for me and cancer, but the reoccurrence has proved me to be wrong, so now, every twinge, bout of breathlessness, lump, ache, pain, is automatically, in my mind anyway, cancer!
But however paranoid I get, I have to remember that yes, life does go on, and that if there is more cancer back, they will deal with it in whatever way possible and then that will be it! I am incredibly lucky in that the team I have working with me are so thorough and so on top of things that they will see me at the drop of a hat, and try their best to not have me waiting around for ages to get to see someone!
I think the thing that is making this all a lot worse is the fact that I did the ridiculous thing (don't ever do this!) but I googled my stage and prognosis, which quite frankly, was not what I wanted to hear.
So with that knowledge, I am back on track with making every day, minute, second matter to me because I probably don't have as many left as I thought I did!
And you know what? I would encourage every single one of you to do the same.
So with that in mind, I have created a 'bucket list' and though I won't divulge it all on here, I am well on the way to doing many of the things on there, starting with a trip to Vegas and the Grand Canyon (and Wisconsin!) in June, seeing Jason Mraz live in December, and just generally having a very jolly time :)
As Jack Dawson so eloquently put it:
'I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count.'
